Life definitely isn't always what we want or what we expect it to be. Things don't always go your way and well, that's okay. The title of this post may seem misleading, you're probably thinking "what do you mean failure isn't failure? it is literally the same word?" It took me a long time to realize this but failure is dependent upon the person who is viewing it. We may think it's a huge lack of success but in reality, is it that big of a deal? It wouldn't be a stretch to say I often have feelings of anxiety associated with school and I was surprised to learn about how many other people in college have felt this overwhelming feeling too. The American Institute of Stress published an article in 2017 that reads out of 18 million college students,
"Nearly three out of four of these students have experienced a sense of “overwhelming anxiety” at some time".
My whole life I grew up in a goal-orientated household. My parents were also motivating me to do my best and I loved the positive attention that came with me accomplishing things. I constantly overworked myself and used stress as a motivator to let myself know that I was doing something right. I continued to do this with no major problems until the first semester of my Junior year of college where I made my first C+ in a class, a 79 to be exact. Saying this overwhelmed me is an understatement. It consumed me and I honestly felt like such an imposter, like I was not as smart as everyone thought I was. Many people would exclaim that's not even that bad of a grade, and that if I truly tried as hard as I could then I should be proud of myself. How was I supposed to be proud of that grade though? As someone who had a 3.8 GPA previously how was I supposed to accept this and move on?
It's been hard and truthfully I don't think I am completely over it, but I am not going to let it control me, I am going to let it motivate me. With the first week of second semester just ending I feel even more determined than ever to prove myself. Stress can be a motivator but we should also know that you can never do everything and sometimes we will fail, but it is how you use that failure and how you let it affect you that matters. Pretty much I am writing this because I know so many people work as hard as they can and there are moments in life where it just feels like one thing after another is coming after you. I want to say that you've got this! I think it is important to find ways that you can deal with your own feelings of anxiety. I find that because of my personality, I am extremely goal orientated and low key a workaholic. I mean seriously if you would see my planner you would understand. One way I have found a good balance is doing things that I enjoy that don't have to do with school or work. This may seem basic but it makes all the difference! If you can find something that essentially feels like a breath of fresh air life might seem a little easier.
Here's a little list of things I've been doing:
- Writing
- Barre classes ( Highly recommend Barre3 in Columbia!)
- Making lists (ok, this is weird but I guess it's the type A personality in me)
- Spending more time with people that make me happy
- Putting more effort into my sorority
The things you do can be as little or big as you want them to, trying out a bunch of different things through trial and error could be half the fun of it! You aren't doing these things for anyone but yourself so make the most of it.
Till next time,
Liv
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